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salad_barbarianHi everybody! For the past few months I've been browsing my comic book stores' 50 cent bin. Now I've decided to pass on the horror and delight to you fine folks.
First up Protectors #5:
It's a gritty nineties reboot of several golden age characters.
Warning: There will be blood and the scans are on the large side.
Behold the cover!
Can you see what made me pick this up? If you can't make it out maybe the first page will clarify it.
Ahem:
There's a hole in the comic,
Dear Liza, dear Liza
There's a hole in the comic,
Dear Liza, there's a hole.
What the hell were they thinking?,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
What the hell were they thinking?,
Dear Henry, WTF?.
That bullet hole in the cover? It goes through the entire comic.
Oh joy and buttercups.
I will admit though that I like the dual briefings. But my eyes keep going to that poor dude who's missing part of his leg.
Well on with the story. The character we'll be following is Night Mask. He's on the team to try and prove himself to his father. His dad however thinks he's a dumb ass and the more Night Mask tries to prove himself the more idiotic his father thinks he is. By the time this comic is over you'll likely agree. I had to cut a bunch of stuff so I'll try to give you the gist.
Night Mask goes out on patrol and sees the terrorist guys from earlier attacking a post office. He tries to call for back up (Cherish that moment of intelligence. It's the last one he'll have.) but the radio goes down.
He says he'd be crazy to try and take them alone...so that's what he does and gets a lucky strike on one of them. As for the other three?
...yeah that's a dumb ass alright.
He gets to their hideout and...
IT'S A TRAP!
The villainous Mr. Monday is going to kill him on live TV! His His friends quickly try to track him down.
Friends like Amazing Man:
DO YOU THINK THIS A STANDS FOR RECEIVER?
(Ok that was a bad joke. let's see you all come up with a better one.)
and the Ferret:
Feel the camaraderie.
Night Mask: "I may be a dumb ass but if I can get in another lucky hit..."
Mr. Monday: "May be a dumb ass? That doesn't look like my chest on the cover."
Night Mask: "Crud."
Isn't it great when people can find joy in what they do?
NMs' Dad: "Moron."
Then the hero's arrivefive seconds way too late.
They were supposed to look after him but...
Well that was certainly something. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But it's not enough to make me want to find out who the hell any of these people were.
But some people were enjoying it:
This is directly across for the grizzly death scene so I'm not sure how someone could avoid being spoiled. Also I feel sorry for the fan who got his letter shot through.
And now for a few totally rad ads!
The first pop-out cover! How come no one here has posted a 17 part "When The Mighty Magnor Was Awesome" series?
Night Mask: "Malibu has so many bitchin' titles dude that there is no stopping us!"
SB: "People with sucking chest wounds should stop talking!"
Aleksander Nikolaevich: "What about people who suck chests?"
SB: "I think this comic broke something in my brain."
Maybe the hole went through my mind.
However I am proud that I was able to go this whole time without making a "This is why Garfield hates Monday" joke.
The story was 24 pages so I cut it down to 7 and 2/3 pages. I remember a conversation saying that ads and letter pages don't count as story so I put some of them in.
Suggested Tags: Publisher: Malibu Comics, Title: Protectors, Creator: R.A. Jones, Creator: Thomas Derenik Creator: Deodato, Creator: Clem Robins, Char: Night Mask/Richard Reinhart, Char: Amazing Man, Char:The Ferret, Char: Mighty Man, Group: Protectors
First up Protectors #5:
It's a gritty nineties reboot of several golden age characters.
Warning: There will be blood and the scans are on the large side.
Behold the cover!
Can you see what made me pick this up? If you can't make it out maybe the first page will clarify it.
Ahem:
There's a hole in the comic,
Dear Liza, dear Liza
There's a hole in the comic,
Dear Liza, there's a hole.
What the hell were they thinking?,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
What the hell were they thinking?,
Dear Henry, WTF?.
That bullet hole in the cover? It goes through the entire comic.
Oh joy and buttercups.
I will admit though that I like the dual briefings. But my eyes keep going to that poor dude who's missing part of his leg.
Well on with the story. The character we'll be following is Night Mask. He's on the team to try and prove himself to his father. His dad however thinks he's a dumb ass and the more Night Mask tries to prove himself the more idiotic his father thinks he is. By the time this comic is over you'll likely agree. I had to cut a bunch of stuff so I'll try to give you the gist.
Night Mask goes out on patrol and sees the terrorist guys from earlier attacking a post office. He tries to call for back up (Cherish that moment of intelligence. It's the last one he'll have.) but the radio goes down.
He says he'd be crazy to try and take them alone...so that's what he does and gets a lucky strike on one of them. As for the other three?
...yeah that's a dumb ass alright.
He gets to their hideout and...
IT'S A TRAP!
The villainous Mr. Monday is going to kill him on live TV! His His friends quickly try to track him down.
Friends like Amazing Man:
DO YOU THINK THIS A STANDS FOR RECEIVER?
(Ok that was a bad joke. let's see you all come up with a better one.)
and the Ferret:
Feel the camaraderie.
Night Mask: "I may be a dumb ass but if I can get in another lucky hit..."
Mr. Monday: "May be a dumb ass? That doesn't look like my chest on the cover."
Night Mask: "Crud."
Isn't it great when people can find joy in what they do?
NMs' Dad: "Moron."
Then the hero's arrive
They were supposed to look after him but...
Well that was certainly something. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But it's not enough to make me want to find out who the hell any of these people were.
But some people were enjoying it:
This is directly across for the grizzly death scene so I'm not sure how someone could avoid being spoiled. Also I feel sorry for the fan who got his letter shot through.
And now for a few totally rad ads!
The first pop-out cover! How come no one here has posted a 17 part "When The Mighty Magnor Was Awesome" series?
Night Mask: "Malibu has so many bitchin' titles dude that there is no stopping us!"
SB: "People with sucking chest wounds should stop talking!"
Aleksander Nikolaevich: "What about people who suck chests?"
SB: "I think this comic broke something in my brain."
Maybe the hole went through my mind.
However I am proud that I was able to go this whole time without making a "This is why Garfield hates Monday" joke.
The story was 24 pages so I cut it down to 7 and 2/3 pages. I remember a conversation saying that ads and letter pages don't count as story so I put some of them in.
Suggested Tags: Publisher: Malibu Comics, Title: Protectors, Creator: R.A. Jones, Creator: Thomas Derenik Creator: Deodato, Creator: Clem Robins, Char: Night Mask/Richard Reinhart, Char: Amazing Man, Char:The Ferret, Char: Mighty Man, Group: Protectors
