salad_barbarian

This could use some improvement but it's not such a bad little story. All it needs is a little love.

Once not quite so long ago on the day before Christmas eve a great disaster occurred with Santa's sleigh."Santa! Santa!" the elves did shout "The harnesses for the reindeer are falling apart!" "Well that is to be expected. After all they haven't been replaced in 100 years." said Santa "What were they made of?" The elves all replied " They were woven from the beards of ducks, moonbeams, and the lost shoestrings of little children." "Oh no!" cried Santa "Little children are always loosing shoestrings and the moon sends us all the beams we could ever use. But ducks these days prefer to be clean shaven. We'll never convince them to stop in time for long enough beards to grow." "Isn't there anything you can do?" asked the elves "I can't think of anything" replied Santa "And without a harness the reindeer can't pull my sleigh. How will I ever manage to deliver all of the toys to the children who have been good all year?" "I could help." came a small low voice from the corner of the workshop I could weave a new harness for you." Who said that?" asked Santa bringing his red and green candle to see.As he raised his lantern it's light revealed a large spider that had gone mostly unnoticed until now. "My silk is very strong and I would be more than happy to help!" "What is your name?" asked Santa amazedly "My name is Rupert." replied the spider as he lowered himself down to eye level. "Well Rupert" said Santa "Your silk might be strong but do you think it could last the entire night? I must go really fast to travel around the world." "Ill travel with you to make any needed repairs as we go" said Rupert "It will be very cold out there and the snow can make it hard to see" said Santa "I'm cold blooded so the cold will have a worse effect on me than it would on a person. But there are a great many people counting on you. I will give it my very best effort!" said Rupert bravely "Well" said Santa " That's as all I have asked of myself or any of my team. Welcome aboard." Santa extended his right hand and shook Rupert's front leg. Thank you Mr. Claus sir. I'll start weaving right away!" said Rupert enthusiastically "Please call me Santa." said Santa

Using the old reigns as a template Rupert went to work weaving the strongest silks he could muster. As he did so the elves finished making the last of the toys and packing them up as Santa checked his list a second time. All so very soon it was time to depart. The harness that Rupert wove was completed just in time to be placed on the reindeer. The bag was loaded on to the sleigh, Santa took his place and Rupert climbed aboard Comet and readied himself as best he could. Santa grabbed the reigns and called out "Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer and Vixen,
"On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Donder and Blitzen" and in the twinkling of an eye they soared up into the night sky.

All through the night Santa went from one rooftop to the next to deliver gifts to all the good little boys and girls. As he did so Rupert went from one reindeer to the next fixing the harness at the slightest sign of damage. The cold chilled him to the core but he didn't give up. The snow blew in his eight eyes but he just felt his way along and kept going. When the fierce winds threatened to tear him off of the sleigh he held on all the tighter! Christmas is a time of joy the whole wold over and Rupert would not, COULD NOT let the children down! And so he kept going until the last present had been placed under the last tree in the last house and Santa turned his team north toward home. Rupert knowing his job was done snuggled as much as he could into Cupid's fur and fell asleep.

When he woke up he was tucked into an elf's bed and Santa himself was by his side. Rupert raised his head and asked "Did I do a good job?" "You did a great job" Santa answered "Thanks to you I was able to give gifts to almost everyone who deserved them." "Almost?" said Rupert confused "Who did you miss?" "You." said Santa with a smile. "I know you didn't do what you did for a reward. But that just means you deserve one all the more. Here" said Santa handing him a mug "This is special hot coco that I usually reserve for my reindeer." "Thank you" said Rupert and he took the mug. After a few sips he began to feel all warm inside like you do after being hugged by someone you love. Then with a slight tingle he felt two antlers spring from his head! "Does this mean what I think it means?" squealed Rupert in excitement "Yes" said Santa with a laugh "I want you to be a permanent part of my team. When I get enough duck beards for my harness I would like you to be the one to weave it together." "Thank you Santa! Thank you so much!" Rupert said joyously. "Merry Christmas Rupert!" said Santa.

RUPERT AND SALAD BARBARIAN'S DAY OF FUN!

First up the comics I bought that day:

Beware ladies for soon I shall posses the knowledge of how to pick you up! *evil laugh*

Now onto what you all came to see.( Read more... )

Overall I had a great time and I hope you had a great time reading about it.

I've put up pictures before but I finally decided to show a quick video of my dwelling.


I consider my decorating style to be post apocalyptic goth. I used to have a lot more ropes and strings as well as far more things hanging down.

Fear my holiday decorating skills! There are a lot of images so click the cut to see the room that keeps Santa awake at night.
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Well I hope you enjoyed that. I'm going to make an effort to post more here and elsewhere. So see you again soon ( I hope).

After a hell of a lot of computer problems (which I'll talk about latter in a separate post) I have finally come back to update this thing.

First in honer of Halloween and all of the candy I got for my birthday:

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I got a lot of stuff I wanted for my b-day including: a new watch (the old one's battery couldn't be replaced), the aforementioned hoard of candy, a mini sd card for my media player, a can of pumpkin, new headphones (I tend to go through them quick), some cans of juice, and THE TICK: Karma Tornado, The Complete Works (technically I bought it my self but I still count it). I may or may not have nefarious purposes for these items.

Also I'm seriously considering taking Rupert out for another walk tomorrow.

I think this uniform needs something; something that says "I'm here to destroy you", but with a sense of fun!
-Dot

Well I have returned but only briefly. I need your help. I can't decide what to name my child!
( Which of these would work? )

I'm a horrible father! (cue sobbing)